Submissions desk · open 24/7
Paste your bio or elevator pitch. Our correspondent files a verdict in milliseconds. No mercy, no corrections.
From the archive · fictional defendants, real verdicts
Three steps · no sign-up · no deck required
Paste the elevator pitch, startup one-liner or LinkedIn bio you actually use. No sign-up, no upload, no deck required — plain text is enough.
Jev, a TypeSafe AI System One model, scores your text on cringe, substance, ego, grandiosity and originality, and picks the archetype you fit best.
You get a Bullshit Index from 0 to 100, a front-page headline, the red flag that sank you, and a share card for the group chat you are about to regret.
Frequently asked questions
Roast My Pitch is a free AI roast generator for elevator pitches, startup one-liners and LinkedIn bios. You paste your text, an AI model judges it, and you get a sarcastic verdict written as a tabloid front page — plus a Bullshit Index score you can share.
Yes. Every roast is free and there is no account, no paywall and no credit card. If it made you laugh, there is a Ko-fi button for the editor, and that is the whole business model.
A 0 to 100 score for how much your pitch says versus how much it claims. It is computed from five judgments — cringe, substance, ego, grandiosity and originality — so a vague, buzzword-heavy pitch scores high and a concrete one scores low.
No. Your text is scored and thrown away: it is never written to a database, never logged, and never put inside a share link. A share link carries only the scores and the verdict, signed so nobody can fake them.
About 150 milliseconds. The judgment comes from a System One model built for fast typed decisions rather than from a chatbot writing paragraphs, so there is no waiting spinner to stare at.
Yes, and those are the ones that get hurt the most. Anything between a sentence and a short paragraph works: a bio, an About page, a Twitter description or the pitch you keep rehearsing for investors.
It is comedy with a point. The jokes are templated, but the scores underneath are real judgments about clarity, evidence and ego — so a high Bullshit Index usually means a reader cannot tell what you actually do.